Monday, November 16, 2009

Pulley Performer Picked to Prepare 'Pen at Progressive Park

Get stoked baseball and punk music fans! It was announced earlier today that Scott Radinsky will be the bullpen coach for the Cleveland Indians for the 2010 season. New manager Manny Acta must be a skate punk fan because he called up Radinsky from the Triple A Buffalo Bisons, where he was serving as pitching coach. Radinsky, as I've mentioned before, is the lead singer for the band Pulley and used to lead Ten Foot Pole.
As you probably know, most Major Leaguers have terrible taste in music. Now the Indians have an expert that can guide the bullpen and guide musical taste. Here's how it will probably go down:

The Cleveland Indian bullpen gathers for a meeting during spring training in Arizona. They sit at their lockers while Radinsky saunters around with a Pabst Blue Ribbon in hand, occasionally glaring at the pitchers before him.
Scott Fuckin' Radinsky: All right, hillbillies, let's go over some of your warm up song choices. Perez! What song are you using?
Chris Perez: I like "Firestarter" by Prodigy.
SFR: BORING! I bet you like apple pie and hot dogs, too, don't you, Chrissy?
Perez: Yeah, I . . .
SFR: That's enough. You are now warming up to "Skulls" by The Misfits. Masterson, what are you listening to?
Justin Masterson: "Rebirthing" by Skillet. It's pretty cool
SFR: Christen Nu-Metal? You're breaking new barriers in suck, Masterson. You're now rocking "Linoleum" by NOFX. I opened for NOFX when you were 9 YEARS OLD! Can you believe these kids, Kerry? What do you warm up with?
Kerry Wood: I don't use a warm up song, coach.
SFR: *spits out PBR* WHAT? Get the hell out of my bullpen? How are you still on this team anyway?
Radinsky storms into a storage closet and rolls out cart with a TV and VCR.
SFR: Okay, this is obviously going to be a year long struggle. It's a good thing I got some sweet videos to inspire you. Check this shit. *pulls video cassettes out of duffel bag* *blows into VCR slot* *pops in first video* This one is my first band called Ten Foot Pole. Can you say Ten Foot Pole? Ugh, just forget it.

SFR: You didn't know I had such cool moves did you? That was me shaking out the cancer. Here's me leading my current band. Notice the increased command that only a wily veteran can provide.

SFR: Okay, that's enough loafing for one day. Let's go practice by throwing rocks at Jhonny Peralta.

*everyone cheers*


Drew - LtB said...


AlexCanteen said...

For what it's worth, the Bisons are no longer the Cleveland Triple A Affiliate- it belongs to the Mets now.

bk said...

I hadn't realized that the team changed hands. All the reports just mentioned he was the Triple A coach for the Indians. I just assumed it was the same team.