So as I recently sought out a temporary substitute for Evan Longoria, who pulled a hammy, on my fantasy team, I picked up the Diamondback's Ryan Roberts. I had never heard of him, but he has been hot lately and he'll get more playing time because of an injury to Chad Tracy. After I added him, I noticed on his profile pic, he has a neck tat. Since I don't really have a way to find out punk fans in MLB, I have to use context clues. A neck tat is a good clue. So I researched. Wikipedia says Roberts has over 30 tattoos. There aren't too many other clues out there so here's a couple pics of his ink. If anyone watches D-Back games regularly, listen for his at-bat song. Maybe he plays some Clash or something. Tangentially related, the bassist for the band The Briggs is named Ryan Roberts as well. Let's be clear, they aren't the same guy, but it's one way to get some music in this post.
I'm going to go ahead and apologize for not posting more, as if I have disappointed thousands of disappointed readers. The usual excuses like work and laziness have affected the posting here. That isn't to say I haven't been writing. I have been writing (mostly) about the St. Louis Cardinals for Blogcritics. They have been mostly game recaps, so if you want to see what happened in Game 17, it'll be relatively easy to find. Also, I tried to put a little humor in there, so there's that. I am particularly proud of this non-Cardinals related post that involved a lot of research (at least for me). To what have I been listening? Two albums that I think are a couple of the best of the year are Cursive's "Mama, I'm Swollen" and Fake Problem's "It's Great to Be Alive." I have always been a lukewarm Cursive fan, with the exception of "Domestica," which I think is quite the masterpiece. While ""Mama, I'm Swollen" isn't as depressing as that album, it is as good. Fake Problems is a band that has been around for a while, but this new album on Side One Dummy Records is a vast improvement over previous efforts. They are adept at mixing simple folk punk songs with rich instrumentals (including horns!). I am currently listening to Death Cab For Cutie's new EP titled "The Open Door." Amazon is offering it for a buck today and it is a sound investment. Front man Ben Gibbard is quite the Mariners fan according to this article on MLB.com. While some rock stars sound forced or bored when they talk about sports, Gibbard sounds sincere.
"We always (say) that we always kind of feel like the underdogs," Gibbard said.
"Even when we're selling out Radio City Music Hall. To complete the analogy, it's like the Mariners having that 116-win season (in 2001). They had the best record in baseball, but they kind of didn't have the confidence to go all the way through the postseason."
So that's an update. I'm not going to finish the Linear Notes and Rap Sheets, but I'll keep the one I did post because screw the AL East. We'll keep their crimes posted for posterity.
In preparation of the upcoming season, I'm here to provide you with the most incomplete, unresearched, and biased team-by-team preview on the Internet. In addition to a little rundown of each team, I'll provide a band that the team parallels (the linear note) and go over some of the players that have been arrested for one reason or another (the rap sheet). Today's entry is every major sports corporation's favorite division, the American League East.
Baltimore Orioles -- How many games do you think they will win this year? Okay, now cut about 25 wins from that number. Is your number 70? Damn, it was worth a try. They have Brian Roberts, who used PEDs but claimed his out of nowhere 2005 season was due to red contact lenses. I bet his cousin got him those lenses.
Linear Notes: This team is bad and they don't seem to be on the verge of getting better anytime soon. However, from all accounts, they have one of the more beautiful parks in the MLB. So they are a band with terrible music, but entertaining theatrics. The Orioles are GWAR.
Rap Sheet: The lone State Pen cowboy on this team is Ryan Freel who is a two time offender with a DUI and the ominous "disorderly conduct." I think his best friend Farney is a bad influence.
Boston Red Sox -- Arguably the best team in the division, making it one of the best in the league, the Red Sox have a symbiotic mix of homegrown players and decent free agents. Speaking of Red Sox free agents, my favorite story of Spring Training so far is Larry Bowa's measured critique of new BoSock Brad Penny.
"You mean the same guy who was never on time, out of shape and has one complete game? He has more stuff to worry about in the A.L. East than me. He has to worry about getting people out. He was never on time, was out of shape and never helped the kids out. Put that on the (expletive) dot-com. Put it in the headline."
I love baseball.
Linear Notes: A team that used to downright lovable but then got some exposure and then boasts one of the most annoying bandwagon fans today. As much as I hate to make the comparison, it's true. The Red Sox are the Dropkick Murphys.
Rap Sheet: The Red Sox have the more scofflaws on their team than any other AL East team. Julio Lugo may or may not have beat his wife (charges were later thrown out). Clay Buchholz stole 29 laptops while he was in high school. Dice K, while being an upstanding citizen in the US, had a "scandal" in Japan when he illegally parked his car in front of his wife-to-be's apartment building. He also had expired tags or something. He was fined 195,000 yen, which I think equals $256,000 or a nickel. I'm not sure.
New York Yankees -- They spend more money than many teams combined. They're the Evil Empire. Blah, blah, blah. So what? They haven't won a World Championship in close to a decade. I hope they keep spending and losing. This year's model includes the CC Sabathia and Mark Teixeira features. Please only use these features sparingly at first or risk overheating. A-Rod used/uses roids. He makes a quarter of a billion dollars and he puts something called "boli" into his butt. Later this season, he is going to reveal is jars and jars of saved fingernail clippings.
Linear Notes: The Yankees are one of the most well known sports franchises in the world. However they haven't done much respectable lately. The Yankees are Green Day.
Rap Sheet: Joba Chamberlain was charged with a DUI, speeding, and an open container. That's a triple play combination I can believe in. I guess 310 to Joba refers to his BAC, amirite?
Tampa Bay Rays -- We heard a lot about this team last year, but I'm sure everything will fall apart this year. A core of young, talented players playing for much less than market value is just a recipe for failure. They have pitchers with great K/BB ratios and some of the best hitters in the league. How could this possibly work?
Linear Notes: The Rays are a young team that has already achieved a lot of success and they are destined for more. The Rays are The Gaslight Anthem.
Rap Sheet: The Rays are as clean as they come. The only thing I found was that reliever James Houser was suspended 50 games in 2007 for testing positive for a PED. No crimes, unless you call the fashion police.
Toronto Blue Jays -- I like the Jays, I really do. But I'd hate for them to be my team. They lose every year, but nobody romanticizes it like they do for the Cubs. They aren't lovable losers. They're just losers. That being said, one of my favorite MLB players, Roy Halladay, anchors the rotation and Shawn Marcum, who will miss the upcoming season due to the loss of one of his limbs, is from my alma mater.
Linear Notes: The Blue Jays are the best baseball team in Canada. The Blue Jays are Propagandhi.
Rap Sheet: The Jays would have had a clean rap sheet if it wasn't for a fairly recent acquisition. Matt Bush was the first overall draft pick by the Padres in 2004. Before he even stepped on the field professionally, he was arrested for partying a little too hard outside an Arizona nightclub. The party consisted of one felony and three misdemeanors. Once he finally did get on the field, Bush, drafted as a shortstop, hit only .192. They converted him to pitcher, where he topped out at 95 mph. He then tore a ligament in his elbow and couldn't play until this year. BUT THE BEST IS YET TO COME! Before this season, Bush got into a drunken altercation with a high school lacrosse team. He was quoted as saying "I'm Matt (smurfing) Bush," and "(smurf) East County." Anyway, the Padres finally released him and the Blue Jays think he'll make a great addition to their Sunday services.
Well, spring training is beginning. Pitchers who don't want to be there and catchers who will be lucky to have equipment that fits report today. It won't be long before we're sitting in the bleachers at our favorite park, critiquing professional ballplayers younger than us, and hazily judging the acceptability to take our shirt off (Tip: Do it. Why, not?). Because of blessed global warming, it's been an unusually warm February here in the Midwest. My buddies and I got the first game of wiffleball in last weekend. We play a bastardized version of "indian ball," where we employ arbitrary rules about what is a single/double/triple. This is all fine and dandy until I bat however. I am the only one of us that bats lefty. So while they hit home runs (over the fence in the neighbers yard) on a regular basis, I am left hitting the ball into brush pile, which convienient is always a single. (No matter what anybody tells you, it is impossible to hit a wiffleball the other way.) One of my favorite aspects of a wiffleball game is the lawnchair strike zone. It's such a perfect size that you know its dual use is the work of Divine intervention. I plan on having a bit of a preview of the MLB teams soon, so keep one eye peeled and one open for that. The picture is Anthony Raneri of the band Bayside. It looks like someone just went up to him and said "hold this" *click* "thanks, yo." It's courtesy of major league wiffleball. Here's a bit of what's been in my ear lately. It's from Ben Nichols new solo debut titled The Last Pale Light in the West. By the way, if anyone knows of a good mp3 player for blogs, let me know. I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Otherwise, let me know how you are getting ready for the season. How do you think your team will do? Which one of your players is most likely to get indicted for using illegal drugs (thought I wouldn't mention it, din ya?)?
As the year grimly trudges to an end, the yearly "Best Albums of '08" articles pop up on all blogs and legit publications. Who am I to challenge such a proud, self-aggrandizing time for music critics and "journalists." Many of these pieces have the Top Ten of the Year and since Bob Dylan didn't release an album this year, they'll actually have room for ten artists relevant this decade. Before I get to some of my choices, I have to lay out a little disclaimer. These are only albums that I have actually heard. I know there are other great punk albums out there but I didn't have the cash lying around to buy everything I wanted. That's right: buy. I'm staunchly anti-piracy when it comes to music (cruise ships and movie theater candy contrabanding are another story). I know millions of people do it and they have no moral objection to it, but I do, so I don't. I mean look: if your team just won the World Series, you don't have to tip over cars just because that's what other cities have done after championship wins. Philly fans won the World Series and the first thing that went through too many cheese-steak poisoned heads was "Der, Let's find a car and turn it over." The guido or guido apprentice then stumbled down Broad Street so he could find ONE car. At least in Detroit and Chicago, they tipped cars because the street was too crowded with people. Here, they just wanted to tell their kids, "Hey, little Rock, I tipped over this guy's Camry. Let's go throw rocks at dose gay tourists." Where was I? Oh yeah, mob mentality is for the meat brained. On with the music. So, I don't exactly have ten albums, because while I bought more than ten albums this year, I know there were better ones out there than the ones I bought or heard legally, so I am just going to review the ones I liked. These are in an order consistent with the Mayan calendar:
Banner Pilot - Resignation Day I'm not sure if I first hear Banner Pilot on the Punknews Fest 6 compilation or if it was shortly before that, but I instantly recognized that I would like this band. Vocals draw me in and lyrics encourage me to stay and this album did both. Lead singer Nick Johnson (not Nick Johnson) sings about the dark, chilly nights in Minneapolis drinking with friends, tired heartbreaks, and making big plans. I know I am just hurting things by making it sound like Counting Crows lyrics, but my words won't do it justice. Read these linear notes. I know a lot of small town kids will identify a lot of the situations in these tunes. This is the kind of music that makes high school bearable for a lot of outcasts. The band is currently recording another album and Twittering the experience.
LaGrecia - On Parallels This artifact is a tragic little gem. LaGrecia was the third band for vocalist and lyricist Jason Shevchuk, formerly (and now currently) None More Black and Kid Dynamite (still not counting his metal band Bound). Before this album was even released by Suburban Home Records, he left the three-piece, leaving hundreds or thousands of albums with no band to tour, promote, and sell them. Why the sudden departure? It's his third band in about 9 or 10 years. He is never content. The reason this time though was because he dipped his pen in the company ink (company ink aka Dana Berkowitz played drums for the band). The songs on this album differed from other Shevchuk products in that it was more "indie" and experimental than a straight forward punk or melodic hardcore band. A couple of tracks, including Slower Than Manasses and Two Shotguns, have some jazz influence. It would have been fun to sing along with this band live, but we'll all have to settle for yelling in our car. Also, the album art by bassist Sal DellAquila is by far the best of any 2008 album, hands fucking down.
Lemuria - Get Better Female lead singers have to walk a fine line. Unfairly or not, she has to maintain her femininity without being so "girly" that they are looked down upon by the majority of the punk audience. I suppose that's a gauntlet all successful women have to face but this album just made me think about it. (Co?)Lead singer Sheena Ozzella has strong, consistent vocals that still sound like they're sung by a girl. I wouldn't be surprised to find out she was a classically trained vocalist. And while a lot of female-fronted groups have their chick strutting around like she is on the short list to join the Pussycat Dolls, Ozzella isn't that kind of girl. The band's music is, rightfully so, the show. My preference for this album has fluctuated the few months I have been listening to it. When I first got it, I loved the sweet harmonies between Ozzella and drummer Alex Kerns. But the more I listened to it, I was a little turned off by the constant repetition in the lyrics. The choruses on almost all the songs are repeated to a point where I wonder if they ran out of lyrics. However, even later I grew to like that as well. I mean, despite the clear vocals, they're a punk band (or an indie band with punk aesthetic) and if it's something punk bands do well, it's make catchy anthems that are fun to sing along with live.
Murder By Death - Red of Tooth and Claw Take a spaghetti western, make it darker, place random barrels of whiskey around (more than usual) then you are on your way to understanding the aesthetic created by Murder by Death's style of music and Red of Tooth and Claw is no different. It's hard to pigeon hole the sound. The two most distinctive aspects of the music are Adam Turla's baritone singing and the cello work by Sarah Balliet. Lyrics tend to focus on good versus evil and traveling themes. I also got to catch Murder By Death live this year and it was one of the most fun shows I have been attended in a long time. They deftly carry their studio sound to the stage. The band is reportedly working on a follow up to their concept album Who Will Survive, and What Will Be Left of Them for the near future. I can't wait to see what's in store for this talented group.
The Gaslight Anthem - Señor and the Queen & The '59 Sound While it's hard to pick an album of the year, the most impressive band of the the year is The Gaslight Anthem. They're everywhere and deservedly so. This band takes the best from The Bouncing Souls, The Clash, and Born to Ride-era Springsteen to make a sound that sounds fresh even with so many nods to other artists. They released a four-song EP on Sabot Records and later signed with SideOneDummy and released the full length heard 'round the world. The EP is a cleaner continuation of the debut Sink or Swim. The most noticeable aspect on The '59 Sound is the echo in the vocals. Lead singer Brian Fallon continually explains in interviews that the echo or reverb was a conscious choice to pay homage to albums produced in the late fifties and early sixties. While I still can't see the parallel between the production on this album and those of yesteryear, I like the atmosphere it creates. I had an opportunity to see this band open for Alkaline Trio, Thrice, and Rise Against. Unfortunately, they started their set exactly on time and I only got to see two songs (The Backseat and Angry Johnny and The Radio). While I was disappointed at the time, it says a lot about the band that those two songs were the highlight of an outstanding evening. I read somewhere that they are going to tour this Spring, so I'll make sure to catch the full set then. In the meantime, I'll continue to sing with my heroes, my arms in my bothers arms.
The Others: Alkaline Trio - Agony & Irony This was an improvement over Crimson, but they have to shake that poppy, atmospheric crap. I even got the deluxe set to get the acoustic songs. Even that is only 70% good.
The Briggs - Come All You Madmen The Briggs are a talented group that oftentimes take the street punk genre to new and fun places. Unfortunately, even they fall victim to some of the limits of the style occasionally. This conflict is found on Come All You Madmen when a beautiful song like Molly can't even overcome the sickeningly silly This is L.A. It wouldn't have been so bad but they made that terrible track their single. C'mon guys, you're better than that.
Less Than Jake - GNA FLA I still love this band. A few inspired tracks including the single Does the Lion Still Roar are signs that they can still write new tunes that will get the crowd singing along. Unfortunately, the album is largely forgettable.
Chuck Ragan/Austin Lucas - Bristle Ridge Mr. Ragan teams up with former Man Alive lead singer Austin Lucas and family to make a bluegrass album. The result is a tight album from two seasoned professionals. If you are open minded enough to expand beyond the punk genre, check out this collaboration.
Shorebirds - It's Gonna Get Ugly This mayfly of a band was the cocktease of the year. Matt Canino, formerly of Latterman, and Chris Bauermeister, formerly of Jawbreaker, and some drummer formed this band that was not to be. As is Canino's M.O., the group disbanded but not before releasing an EP and this full length. I suppose this never came out in CD format, only a 12" vinyl, because, as Canino and/or his significant hipster girlfriend/entrepreneur stated: they're "a record label, not an MP3 label." Despite that reactionary, Luddite attitude, there are MP3s out there for sale on odd MP3 sites and there are torrents, but I have trouble believing that the band or label (Rumbletowne) sees any of that profit, so I'm not buying. Fortunately, I got to hear it on Punknews. Heartfelt music and trademarked strained vocals characterize this beautiful album.
Paint It Black - New Lexicon Dan Yemin's contribution to the punk and hardcore community is undeniable. Lifetime, Kid Dynamite, and now Paint It Black have all been amazing bands. I just can't get into the latter. I can tell it's technically great, but as a whole I'm not into it. I guess I'm not hardcore.
2009 Anticipation: Ben Nichols - The Last Pale Light In The West (the full length, 7 song mini-album released late 2008) New Banner Pilot New Lawrence Arms (hopefully) New The Verbs (Redux)
Want some tracks from bands I discussed? Here you go:
I realize that I probably missed a lot, but whatever. Check out the two new blogs I added to my blog list: Walkoff Walk and Sound Scene Revolution.
While my thesis has always been that punk and baseball share a symbiotic, harmonious relationship, there have been glaring instances where that simply isn't the case. The most obvious and largest example of this occurred in late August 2006 in Pittsburgh's, then newly opened, PNC Park. Punk cover super band Me First and the Gimme Gimmes were booed of the damn stage (on a side note, it's fun finding Punknews articles with no cited sources). If you know about anything about this band, then you know this did not faze them in the least and they were laid back enough to laugh the situation off. Here is the only footage of the show that I could find on the webs. If you have or can find better footage (preferably with more drunken heckling), let me know and I'll post it.
The music that disturbed the delicate sensibilities of Pittsburgh residents :
So I've neglected this blog for a while, but I've been busy and the Cards collapsed so I've (unfairly) been less interested in baseball. Well, what's been going on? The Cards, as I've mentioned, have sucked. All they needed to do was finish .500, but instead they decided to get swept by the motherfuggin Pirates! Rays have clinched. Cubs have *heave* clinched. Mets have been sucking. Yankees still take up too much airtime. Blah blah. Forgive my general indifference. I think I'll root for Tampa Bay during the playoffs. They don't play in a city that has a mostly white working class so there is no chance of that the team will be romanticized. Musically I've been listening to Banner Pilot's Resignation Day. It's such a solid album. All the songs fit together like a finely tuned piano (just try to untangle that metaphor).
Speaking of music, here's what I really want to talk about. First, please listen to this podcast by a couple friends of mine. Mike, the guy getting interviewed, tells the story of one of his band's songs. The song and the story behind it are equally beautiful and I want everyone I know and don't know to hear it. His whole band (minus the new bassist) did a previous podcast as well that exhibits their great senses of humor. A little funny after the kind of sad story is good for the soul.
I'd also like my small group of readers to check out Mike's band called The Verbs (Redux) (be sure to click on their album on the left). The first thing you may notice is that it isn't punk. We'll I'm a complicated man with many tastes, so humor me. If you notice, it's a pay what you want system, so do just that: pay whatever you want. Fifty percent of all the proceeds goes back to the band. I think the default setting is $.45 a track, but you can click on the price and lower or raise it to what ever you think it is worth. If you like hip-hop or alternative music, check out the other bands on that link as well.
Another cool aspect of all this music on this label (LemonDrop Records) is that it is under a Creative Commons license. That means you are free to distribute it as long as you give the band and the label credit. You can also use it in your own creative products, again as long as you give credit to the band(s) and the label. That's a pretty cool deal for all artists out there (DJs, filmmakers, etc.).
All right, I leave for a month or so and now I ask for you to DO stuff. I know, I'm sorry. I think I am going to do some music reviews in the off season and I'll probably keep track of some of the fun hot stove league. I enjoy that stuff a lot but that's probably the fantasy geek in me. Anyway, keep well, y'all.
So as I recently sought out a temporary substitute for Evan Longoria, who pulled a hammy, on my fantasy team, I picked up the Diamondback's Ryan Roberts. I had never heard of him, but he has been hot lately and he'll get more playing time because of an injury to Chad Tracy. After I added him, I noticed on his profile pic, he has a neck tat. Since I don't really have a way to find out punk fans in MLB, I have to use context clues. A neck tat is a good clue. So I researched. Wikipedia says Roberts has over 30 tattoos. There aren't too many other clues out there so here's a couple pics of his ink. If anyone watches D-Back games regularly, listen for his at-bat song. Maybe he plays some Clash or something.
